How to control emotions for young adults in therapy
Short answer
Controlling emotions in therapy as a young adult involves preparing yourself mentally and physically, then following practical steps such as recognizing emotions, using calming techniques, and communicating openly with your therapist. These steps build emotional regulation skills, helping you manage feelings effectively both in and outside therapy sessions.
What do you need before starting to control your emotions in therapy?
Before working on emotional control in therapy, set yourself up for success by preparing both your environment and mindset. Find a quiet, safe space where you can focus without distractions. This could be a private room, a cozy chair, or anywhere you feel comfortable expressing yourself. Having a journal or a digital note-taking app ready helps you track your feelings, thoughts, and progress over time. This external record is especially useful for reflecting between sessions or when emotions feel confusing.
It’s also important to practice basic self-care before therapy. For example, get enough sleep, eat something nourishing beforehand, and stay hydrated—your body’s physical state affects your emotional responses. Mentally, remind yourself that therapy is a judgment-free zone designed to help you, and that learning emotional control is a process that takes time and practice.
Finally, clarify your goals for therapy. You might say to yourself or your therapist, “I want to get better at noticing when I’m getting upset and find ways to calm down before I react.” Having a clear aim helps guide your work and keeps you motivated. When you feel ready and supported, you’re better equipped to tackle emotional regulation during your sessions.
What are the step-by-step actions to control emotions in therapy and why are they important?
The following numbered steps provide a clear path to managing emotions effectively during therapy. Each step includes practical examples and the reason it helps.
- Recognize and name your emotions
Example wording: “Right now, I feel anxious and frustrated.” Naming emotions helps you understand what’s happening inside rather than reacting blindly. It reduces the power of feelings by bringing them into your awareness.
- Practice deep breathing or grounding techniques
For instance, try the 4-7-8 breathing method: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and breathe out for 8. This slows your heart rate and calms your nervous system, making intense emotions easier to handle.
- Share your emotions openly with your therapist
Use phrases like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed because…” or “This topic makes me uncomfortable.” Talking about emotions helps you process them instead of bottling them up, which can reduce anxiety.
- Practice mindfulness to stay present
During therapy, focus on your body sensations or your therapist’s voice. When emotions spike, mentally note, “I’m noticing anger, but I’m safe here.” This keeps you grounded and prevents being overwhelmed.
- Set small, achievable emotional goals
For example, aim to pause and breathe before responding to strong feelings. Success builds confidence and makes bigger emotional control easier over time.
- Reflect on emotional patterns outside therapy
Keep a journal noting when emotions get intense, what triggered them, and how you responded. For example: “Today, I felt stressed during the group project meeting. I took three deep breaths and asked for a break.”
- Apply coping strategies in daily life
Use what you learn in therapy, like counting backwards from 10 or using positive self-talk (“I can handle this”), to practice emotional control in real situations. This strengthens new skills and makes them automatic.
Each step builds awareness, calm, and communication—key ingredients to managing emotions effectively.
How can you tell that controlling your emotions in therapy is working?
Progress in emotional control may be subtle but meaningful. You might notice that intense feelings don’t take over as quickly or as often. For example, instead of immediately feeling panicked in a challenging conversation, you pause, breathe, and think before reacting. You may find it easier to express your feelings in therapy without shutting down or exploding.
Another sign is improved communication. You might say to your therapist, “I noticed I got upset but was able to explain why instead of shutting down.” Outside therapy, friends or family might comment that you seem calmer or more thoughtful.
You can also measure progress by tracking emotional episodes in a journal. Write down moments when you controlled your reaction successfully, such as managing anger or anxiety, then review these entries weekly to see your growth.
Finally, if you feel more hopeful, less exhausted by your emotions, and better able to face daily challenges, these all point to emotional regulation skills becoming stronger.
What should you do when controlling emotions does not go as planned in therapy?
It’s natural to have moments when emotions feel too strong or uncontrollable during therapy. When this happens, first remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle—that emotional control is a skill built over time. You can say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. Can we pause or try a different approach?”
Use grounding techniques to regain calm. One example is the “5-4-3-2-1” grounding exercise: name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. This shifts your focus to the present and away from overwhelming feelings.
If you feel stuck after trying these strategies, communicate honestly with your therapist. Saying, “I’m having trouble managing these emotions, and it’s frustrating,” can open the door to adjusting your therapy plan or trying new methods.
Outside therapy, if intense emotions cause distress or thoughts of self-harm arise, immediately reach out to a trusted adult, counselor, or call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Remember, help is available, and you don’t need to handle difficult feelings alone.
How can you adapt emotional control techniques if you are a young adult with autism or ADHD?
Young adults with autism might find some traditional emotional control strategies abstract or hard to generalize. Using clear, concrete labels for emotions can help—try using emotion cards or apps that show facial expressions and emotion words. For example, saying “I feel frustrated because I don’t understand this” is clearer than “I’m upset.”
Sensory-friendly grounding techniques can be especially effective. Rather than deep breathing alone, try holding a textured object like a smooth stone or a piece of fabric, or listening to calming sounds like ocean waves through headphones. These physical sensations can help regulate emotions by providing comforting sensory input.
For those with ADHD, shorter, more frequent practice sessions work better than long, drawn-out exercises. Incorporate movement breaks before therapy or during sessions if possible—stretching or walking can reduce restlessness and make emotional regulation easier. Visual timers or reminders to use coping skills can also keep you focused.
Both groups benefit from structured routines around therapy and emotional regulation practice. For instance, setting specific times each day to journal or practice breathing makes it part of daily life. Discussing these adaptations with your therapist ensures your emotional control plan fits your unique needs.
How can young adults control emotions in the classroom setting based on therapy techniques?
Managing emotions in a classroom can be challenging but applying therapy techniques can help maintain focus and calm. Start by recognizing early signs of stress or frustration, like a tight chest or racing thoughts. When you notice these signs, use discreet grounding tools such as pressing your feet firmly on the floor or squeezing a small stress ball.
If certain topics or social situations trigger strong emotions, prepare ahead by telling a teacher or counselor you might need a moment or a quiet space to regroup. Many schools have designated “calm corners” or allow brief breaks, so have a plan ready.
Practicing mindfulness during class—such as focusing on your breath for a few seconds or noticing the feeling of your chair—can help keep emotions in check without drawing attention.
Between classes, write in a private journal or use a notes app to check in with your emotions. For example: “That group discussion got stressful. I took three deep breaths and reminded myself it’s okay to feel nervous.”
Using positive self-talk is also helpful. Phrases like, “I can handle this,” or “This feeling will pass,” reinforce your ability to manage emotions.
Applying these skills regularly helps build emotional resilience, making school a more manageable and less stressful experience.
Frequently asked questions
Can emotional control techniques in therapy help with anxiety and depression?
Yes, learning to recognize and regulate emotions can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression by improving how you respond to stress and negative feelings. Therapists often tailor emotional control skills to support mental health challenges.
How can I explain my need for emotional breaks to teachers or peers?
Use simple, honest language like, “Sometimes I get overwhelmed and need a moment to calm down.” You don’t have to share details unless you want to. Many educators respect requests for breaks when explained calmly.
What if I forget to use calming techniques when emotions spike?
That’s common. Try setting phone reminders or placing notes in visible spots to prompt you. Practicing techniques regularly outside emotional moments makes them easier to remember during stress.
Are therapy and medication both needed for emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation skills learned in therapy can work alone or alongside medication, depending on your needs. Discuss with your healthcare provider what’s best for your situation.
How do I handle emotions when I’m not in therapy sessions?
Use tools like journaling, mindfulness apps, or breathing exercises regularly. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or support groups to talk about your feelings. Keeping routines helps maintain emotional control between sessions.