How to Make Friends with a New Kid at School

Kids 8–12 · How-to · Updated October 1, 2026 · LearnLife Editorial

What do you need before trying to make friends with a new kid at school?

Before your child approaches a new classmate, they need a few things: kindness, confidence, and some simple conversation starters. Kindness means being polite, friendly, and respectful. Confidence helps your child feel comfortable talking to someone new, even if they’re shy. Conversation starters are easy questions or comments they can use to get the talk going, such as “Hi, I’m [Name]. What’s your favorite subject?” or “Do you like playing soccer?” Helping your child prepare these ahead of time makes the first step less scary. Also, remind your child to look for signs that the new kid might want to talk, like smiling or making eye contact, so they know when to say hello.

What are the step-by-step instructions to make friends with a new kid at school?

1. Say hello and introduce yourself. Saying, “Hi, I’m [Name]. What’s your name?” breaks the ice and shows you want to be friends.
2. Ask simple questions about them. Questions like “Where did you move from?” or “What do you like to do for fun?” help your child learn about the new kid.
3. Listen carefully and show interest. Nodding, smiling, and asking follow-up questions (“Oh, you like drawing? What do you draw?”) show you care about what they say.
4. Share something about yourself. This makes the conversation fair and helps the new kid get to know your child too. For example, “I like basketball. Do you play any sports?”
5. Invite them to join you in an activity. If your child plays at recess or sits with friends at lunch, inviting the new kid along helps them feel included.
6. Be patient and keep trying. Some kids take time to open up, so encourage your child to keep being friendly even if the new kid doesn’t respond right away.

How can you tell if making friends is working?

Signs that your child is making friends with the new kid include: the new kid smiling or laughing during conversations, joining your child at play or lunchtime, and both kids showing interest in talking again. Your child might say things like, “We’re going to play basketball tomorrow,” or you could see them sitting together. Also, the new kid might share things about themselves or ask your child questions, which shows trust and interest.

What should your child do if things don’t go as planned?

Sometimes, the new kid may seem shy, quiet, or not ready to make friends yet. That’s okay. Encourage your child not to take it personally and to give the new kid space. They can try again another day or invite other classmates to join so it feels less scary. If the new kid seems upset or is avoiding your child, it’s good to talk with a teacher or school counselor who can help. Remind your child that making friends takes time, and sometimes people need a little patience and kindness to feel comfortable.

How can you help your child adapt these steps for different situations?

Every new kid is different, so your child might need to change their approach. For example, if the new kid speaks another language, your child can use simple words, gestures, or drawings to communicate. If the new kid loves video games, your child can ask about those instead of sports. If your child is shy, practicing the steps at home with family or role-playing can build confidence. The key is to be flexible and notice what makes the new kid feel happy and comfortable.

Why is making friends with a new kid important?

Making a new friend helps the new kid feel happy, safe, and part of the school community. It also teaches your child kindness, empathy, and how to communicate well. Friends provide support and fun, which makes school a better place for everyone. Helping your child learn how to be friendly and welcoming builds skills they will use their whole life.

What can parents and teachers do to support kids in making friends?

Parents can encourage their child to be open and friendly, practice conversations at home, and arrange playdates outside school. Teachers can create group activities that mix students, pair new kids with buddies, and watch for signs that a child is lonely or having trouble making friends. Both can remind kids that everyone feels nervous sometimes and that kindness is the best way to make friends.

What are some conversation starters your child can use?

Here are some easy questions and comments your child can try:

• “What’s your favorite game to play?”
• “Do you have any pets?”
• “What do you like to do after school?”
• “I like your backpack! Where did you get it?”
• “Do you want to play together at recess?”

Using these simple starters gives kids a way to begin talking without feeling stuck or awkward.

Making friends takes courage, kindness, and patience, but with these steps, your child can help a new kid feel welcome and start a new friendship. For more tips, see related ideas on How to Make Friends as a Kid in School and How to Help My Child Make Friends at School.

Frequently asked questions

What if my child is shy and doesn’t know how to start a conversation?

Practice simple greetings and questions at home until your child feels more comfortable. Encourage them to smile and say “hi” first, even if it’s just once a day. Remind them it’s okay to be quiet and that friendship takes time to grow.

How can I help my child if the new kid doesn’t talk back?

Tell your child that some kids need more time to feel comfortable. They can try again later or invite others to join. If the new kid seems upset or avoids everyone, a teacher or counselor might help.

Can I teach my child to be a good listener?

Yes! Teach your child to look at the person talking, nod, and ask questions about what they say. Saying things like “That sounds fun!” or “Tell me more” shows they care and helps build friendships.

What if the new kid seems different or has special needs?

Encourage your child to be kind and patient. Differences can be a chance to learn something new. Your child can ask questions politely or invite the new kid to join activities they enjoy.

How do I know if the new kid is ready to be friends?

Look for signs like smiling, joining in games, or talking more. Sometimes they may just need time to adjust. Your child can keep being friendly and wait for the new kid to feel ready.