How to Teach Co-Regulation: A Lesson Plan for Educators

Parents & guardians · Lesson plan · Updated October 1, 2026 · LearnLife Editorial

What is the grade band and learning objectives for a co-regulation lesson plan?

This lesson plan is designed primarily for elementary children, especially kindergarten to third grade, but it can be adapted for younger preschoolers or older children by adjusting language and activities. The goal is to foster early emotional awareness and teach children how to manage their feelings with adult support.

The learning objectives include:

• Helping children identify and name their emotions, such as happy, sad, angry, or scared
• Explaining the concept of co-regulation as adults helping children calm down
• Practicing simple calming techniques together, like deep breathing or gentle movements
• Encouraging children to ask for help when they feel overwhelmed
• Building trust and connection between adults and children as a foundation for emotional learning

A typical session should last around 30 to 40 minutes to keep children engaged without overwhelm. The timing can be organized as follows:

This structure balances instruction, practice, and reflection, which are key for effective emotional learning.

What materials are needed to teach co-regulation at home or school?

Teaching co-regulation requires minimal, accessible materials so the focus stays on the emotional connection. Here are the common items to gather before the lesson:

• Comfortable seating: Pillows, cushions, or chairs arranged to create a calm, inviting space where children feel safe. This helps set the tone for emotional work.
• Timer or clock: Used to guide timed breathing exercises or quiet moments. For example, set a timer for 1-2 minutes of deep breathing.
• Emotion visuals (optional): Simple cards or drawings of faces expressing basic feelings like happy, sad, angry, or scared. These can help children name emotions if needed.
• Calm-down tools (optional): Items like a soft toy, stress ball, or fidget can be used during breathing exercises or when children feel overwhelmed.
• Paper and pencils or crayons (optional): For children to draw how they feel or write down calming strategies, reinforcing emotional expression.

Parents and educators should ensure a quiet, distraction-free environment to support children’s focus. No specialized supplies are required; everyday household items work well.

How to start with a warm-up to prepare children for learning co-regulation?

Starting with a warm-up helps children tune in to their feelings and prepares them to engage in co-regulation activities. These quick, interactive exercises activate emotional awareness and create a safe sharing atmosphere.

Two effective warm-up ideas include:

• Emotion Charades: One child acts out a feeling without speaking (e.g., pretending to be angry or excited), and others guess the emotion. This encourages recognizing and labeling feelings in a fun way. For example, a child might stomp their feet and scowl for “angry.”
• Feelings Check-In: Each child shares how they feel right now using one word or a simple drawing. The adult can start by saying, “I feel calm today,” to model openness.

During warm-up, use validating phrases like, “Thank you for sharing,” or “It’s okay to feel that way,” to normalize all emotions and build trust. Keep this part to about 5 minutes to maintain attention.

What direct instruction points explain co-regulation to children?

Direct instruction introduces the concept of co-regulation with language that children can easily understand and relate to. The key is to use clear examples and concrete explanations.

Suggested points to cover:

• Definition: “Co-regulation means that when you feel upset or scared, a grown-up or friend helps you calm down by staying with you, talking softly, or doing calming things together.”
• Why it matters: “Sometimes feelings get very big and can be hard to handle alone. Co-regulation helps your body and mind feel safe again.”
• Examples: “If you’re angry and I hold your hand and take deep breaths with you, that’s co-regulation.” Or, “When you cry, and I hug you and help you breathe slowly, I’m helping you feel better.”
• Everyone needs help sometimes: Reassure children that even adults sometimes need co-regulation to handle strong emotions.
• Goal: “The goal of co-regulation is to help you feel calm so you can think clearly and solve problems.”

Use visual aids like emotion cards or drawings to illustrate feelings and calming responses. Repeat key phrases such as “We calm down together” to reinforce learning. Keep explanations short and check for understanding by asking simple questions like, “What can you do when you feel mad?”

How to run a main activity practicing co-regulation step-by-step?

The main activity is where children practice co-regulation strategies with adult support. This hands-on experience helps them learn through doing and feeling safe. Follow these steps:

1. Name a feeling: Ask children to recall a time they felt upset, mad, or scared. Help them name that feeling clearly. For example, “Can you tell me about a time you felt angry?”
2. Model co-regulation: Demonstrate how to calm down by taking deep breaths together. Use calm, slow speech: “Let’s breathe in slowly… 1, 2, 3, 4… and breathe out slowly… 1, 2, 3, 4.” Show your body relaxing.
3. Practice breathing: Have children breathe in and out with you, counting slowly. Encourage them to place a hand on their belly to feel it rise and fall.
4. Use calming tools: If using a soft toy or stress ball, invite children to hold or squeeze it slowly as they breathe.
5. Role-play co-regulation: Pair children or role-play adult-child scenarios where one helps the other stay calm. For example, one child pretends to be upset, while the other models calm breathing and uses kind words.
6. Repeat and praise: Repeat the exercises several times, praising children for trying and cooperating. Use encouraging words like, “You’re doing a great job calming your body!”

This activity takes about 15 minutes and provides a practice space for children to experience co-regulation actively.

What discussion questions reinforce learning about co-regulation?

After practicing, discussion helps children process their experiences and deepen understanding. Use open-ended questions that invite reflection, such as:

• “How did it feel when someone helped you calm down?”
• “What was easy or hard about taking deep breaths together?”
• “What can you do if you feel upset and no grown-up is nearby?”
• “Can you remember a time when you helped a friend calm down? What did you do?”
• “Why do you think breathing slowly helps us feel better?”

Encourage children to share honestly and validate all responses with supportive phrases like, “Thank you for sharing your feelings.” The discussion should be about 5 minutes, allowing children to express their thoughts and connect the lesson to real life.

How to assess learning and plan differentiation or extensions?

Assessment can be informal and simple, suited to young children’s abilities. For an exit ticket, ask children to:

• Say what co-regulation means in their own words (e.g., “Getting help to calm down”)
• Demonstrate a calming technique learned, like deep breathing
• Draw a picture showing someone helping another feel calm

For homeschoolers or parents, extend learning by:

• Practicing co-regulation during everyday moments, such as before bedtime or after a conflict
• Reading books about emotions and calming strategies together to reinforce concepts
• Encouraging older children to teach younger siblings or friends co-regulation steps, building leadership and empathy
• Introducing additional calming techniques over time, such as counting backward or gentle stretches

To differentiate:

• Use more pictures and gestures for younger children or those who struggle with verbal explanations
• Add journaling or reflective writing for older children to process emotions more deeply
• Allow children who find group activities challenging to practice one-on-one or with a trusted adult

Consistent practice and personalized support help children internalize co-regulation skills and apply them across settings.

Frequently asked questions

How can I explain co-regulation to my child simply?

Use everyday examples like “When you feel upset, I help you calm down by breathing together or holding your hand.” Keep it brief and comforting, saying, “Everyone needs help sometimes to feel better.”

What are signs a child needs co-regulation support?

A child who often has trouble calming down alone, cries frequently, or acts out when upset may benefit from co-regulation. Offering calm presence and guiding soothing strategies helps them learn to manage emotions.

Can co-regulation help older children or teens?

Yes. For older children and teens, co-regulation might involve talking through emotions calmly, modeling emotional control, or practicing breathing exercises like box breathing together.

How often should co-regulation be practiced?

Regular practice during calm moments and stressful times builds skills. Aim for short daily sessions or use co-regulation during conflicts to help children internalize these tools.

What if my child resists co-regulation efforts?

Respect their space but remain available. Gently invite them to try calming strategies and model calm behavior yourself. With patience and trust, children usually become more open over time.